Posts Tagged ‘why is this happening?’

MP900444553[1]I felt it coming on. I tried to ignore it, but it kept building. Small things, like my purse dumping all over the floorboard when I turned the corner. Dropping  a sack of groceries–not the ones with the eggs, thank the Lord. Catching the pocket of my skirt on the doorknob when my arms were full. . The shower curtain collapsing in the middle of my shower. Stubbing my toe as my sandal slipped.

Each time my blood pressure inched up another point or so. Every incident piled onto the other like a tower of cards wobbling in the blast of an oscillating fan.


Perhaps it is because I have been instrumental in planning three large events and five talks coming up in the eleven weeks after coming off the roller coaster of launching a novel and jumping from book signing to book signing.  Then it is Toastmasters contest season and I am chief judging five of them. Plus, I am helping two people edit their books and reviewing three more. When I told a writer friend of all I had planned  over the next two months she wrote back that she became tired just reading about it.

Then,,,My computer erased my work in a brown out and the auto back up (scheduled for every 5 minutes) decided not to kick in as it should. ARGHHH!!!!

I finally sat with my head on my desk, tears swimming, and prayed. I prayed for Satan to quit messing with me. I prayed for the Holy Spirit to bolster me and and calm me. I prayed to the Lord to bring me His peace. I prayed for all these end-of-rope frustrations to stop. “What are you trying to tell me, Lord?”

Then, like a whisper in the ear, but from the inside out, came a voice. “I will see you through it and protect you from attacks, my child. But next time, pray to me before you take all this on.”

OH! Okay. Sure. My cheeks warmed and my heart sunk.

How often do we overload ourselves, and then ask for strength to endure it? How many times do we rush ahead and then reach back for Jesus’ hand and try to pull Him along with us? What makes us think we can keep running on empty and not refill through quiet God-time?

When frustrations build, stop, breathe and pray. Above all else, pray. Abba Father may be allowing these things because He is trying to call you to His side so you’ll give Him your undivided attention.

He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, “Quiet! Be still!” Then the wind died down and it was completely calm.Mark 4:39

If He can calm a storm over a lake, will He not find a way to calm us? Lord, may I be as obedient as the waves in the Gospels.


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There it  was – in the middle of Rebekah and Isaac’s story in Genesis 25. Verse 22 suddenly became bolded and two fonts bigger in my mind.

The babies jostled each other within her, and she said, “Why is this happening to me?” So she went to inquire of the LORD.

Okay Guys –  even though this is about Rebekah’s pregnancy, don’t click off just yet. This is about any idea, dream, passion or hope that is growing inside of you, waiting to be born – whether you are a man or woman, child or senior citizen.

How many of us struggle with our deepest desire – the one we are sure is God-given? We wonder, if I am following Your ways Lord, why is this so hard? Why the roadblocks, the difficulties, the jostling inside of my gut? Why is this happening to me?

As a Christian writer, I can tell you this is a common story. We have a message that is itching to come out. A Divine revelation we know we are called upon to share. But no agent looks our way and we get rejection after rejection from publishers. Or, once we are published, we get an unkind review , or our book only sells 20 copies that month.  Why is this happening to me, Lord?

If you have a dream in formation, don’t be impatient with the growth process. When the timing is right, it will come forth. And yes, there may be pain. But there will also be joy.

Do as Rebekah did – go, inquire of the Lord. You just may be surprised at His response. She certainly was!

And truth be told, if this dream or desire is of God, it will come forth when He deems it. So be a willing vessel in the meantime. Your dream is not the only thing growing inside of you, so is your walk with the Lord. Oh, that’s why this is happening to me.

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