Clouded View

I am certain this has happened to many of you. You read a passage in Scripture you have read or heard all your life…then wham! A new thought hits you. Well, that is what happened to me, so I had to share it.

On Wednesday evenings at church, we are studying a book about the Transfiguration of Jesus on the mount as witnessed by Peter, James, and John. It is recorded in all of the Synoptic Gospels (Matthew 17, Mark 9, and Luke 9.) Moses and Elijah appear on either side of Jesus, representing the Law and the Prophets. Peter, bless his impulsive heart, wants to build a tabernacle for them.

Here is where it jumped out at me: He [Peter] was still speaking when, behold, a bright cloud overshadowed them, and a voice from the cloud said, “This is my beloved Son, with whom I am well pleased; listen to him” (Matthew 17:5-6).

Did you catch that? God covered Moses and Elijah with a cloud. Now I know this reflects back to Moses on Mt Sinai. God often appears in a cloud. But as I read this verse, it was as if I heard God say, “No Peter. Don’t look at them. You are missing the point. Look to Jesus. He has come to fulfill the Law and the Prophets” (See Matthew 5:17).

It gets better … “When the disciples heard this, they fell on their faces and were terrified. But Jesus came and touched them, saying, “Rise, and have no fear.”  And when they lifted up their eyes, they saw no one but Jesus only’ (Vs 7-8).

This thought made me recall the times God has clouded my vision so I was no longer distracted by what I thought I should think or do. He made the situation so nebulous that I could not see a way out on my own. He distracted me for a reason. To help me refocus on Him and not on my circumstances. He made it to where all I could do was lift my eyes to seek Jesus. As the familiar lyrics by Helen Howarth Lemmel states, “Turn your eyes to Jesus and look full in His wondrous face. And the things of earth will grow strangely dim in the light of His glory and grace.”

If you feel as if you are in a pea-soup-thick fog right now and you can’t see the outcome, hang tight. Bow your head and pray. Ask God what He is distracting you from. What lesson is He trying to show you? What character is He developing in you? Then wait. At the perfect time, Jesus will call you out of the mist and tell you to have no fear. Concentrate on Him. Let Him lead you out into the clear to see things His way–the best, all-powerful, all-knowing way.

Wound Down

I hear my chime clock slowly sounding out the Westminster melody as if each chime is arduous. Time to rewind it. It also is behind a bit in time, so I will need to readjust it. I do this every week, well, like clockwork, and have for decades. I know it can only function so long without me winding it again with the key, so I keep that key handy next to it.

Are we any different? Well, yes and no. A wind-up clock rarely runs too fast. I have discovered I can.

After a four-day hospital vigil by the bedside of a relative, I realized how run down I have become. I have been “wound up” too much and using up too much energy on my own too quickly and so my stamina became depleted. I need to be rewound.

I have the key right next to me at all times which can regain my ability to function – it is God’s Word and prayer. God’s Word is the key, and prayer causes the key to turn around and around so that I have the ability to get in gear again.

Jesus said to the crowds, “Come to me all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light” (Matthew. 11:28-30).

While on earth, Jesus often went away to pray to the Father. He knew when his human body and mind needed to be strengthened in order to function. And Jesus knew Who held the key.

Why do we think we can handle it all if Our Lord in human form could not without God’s help?

Today, I am taking a rest. I am praying, reading His Word, and blogging about it. Already I feel His strength surging in my soul, mind, and body. His Holy Spirit is ministering to me. Soon, I will be ready to get back out there and do what He has called me to do.

If you feel run down and not functioning well, perhaps this key will help you as well. Here are some verses that may help: https://www.biblegateway.com/quicksearch/?quicksearch=weakness&version=ESV

Fill Me Up

Note: I wrote most of this in 2016 when my cousin posted this meme on Facebook …it is still true today. I have revamped the blog a bit.

How true. God will never leave us empty.

You forgot to fill the tank on the way home last night. You remember now that you are headed out the door for work. Ugh.

You’re running on fumes. But you have to keep going. There has bound to be a filling station just up the road. You watch for the signs. The gauge teeters on the E.  Your eye shifts to the tachometer to see how many miles you have gone. Your brain calculates how many more you possibly could go before the engine dies. You hiss a prayer and tap the steering wheel. Come on, come on. I need you now. Where are you, gas station?

If only you had taken the time to stop and fill up before you headed out. But you were running late. It started to rain. You didn’t want to get fume smells on your hands.  You were too rushed to notice the gauge. Whatever the excuse, the fact remains… you didn’t.

Please, God, please. find me a gas station. I need to refuel.  You begin to promise you won’t do this again, but you know you will.  Then you see it. The sign. And guess what? It advertises the cost to be twenty cents cheaper a gallon. Ha!

In our spiritual life, does it work any differently? Many of us run on fumes as a habit, then when a crisis hits, we ask God for a few gallons just to keep us going for now. Usually, He obliges. But why do we not store up enough ahead of time in our tanks? Oh, time is the issue, right?

You were running late. You were too tired to read the Bible last night. You thought I’ll read that passage tomorrow. Then the alarm went off and you hit the snooze button. So you put it off. I’ll pray on Sunday in the pew before the service begins.

I get it. I have done that myself. And regretted it.

God’s Word fills us. We need it daily. We should never go out into the world without a full tank of His promises, love, mercy, and grace in our hearts and minds. But we do. Our lives get hectic. We dash down the road. We keep telling ourselves, I’ll read my Bible when I find the time … soon. And before we know it, we are near empty. That is when Satan can mess with us.

Over the past ten years since I began this blog, God has been faithful to find ways to show me He is there, and He cares. Even when I am rushed and running on empty — there it is. A sign.

And that sign beckons me to not be satisfied with just a few gallons to get me by until I have time but to make the time for prayer and Bible study so I can be filled up.

Are you on fumes? Look for His sign to draw near, make a turn off your busy path, and stop for a while to refuel.

Grace upon Grace

For from his fullness we have all received, grace upon grace. John 1:16

Like many Christians, each year I pray for the word God wants me to grow into for the upcoming year. Last year it was perseverance … and boy did I need lessons in that! This December the word “GRACE” kept floating to the surface of my brain.

Grace is undeserved favor. God extends us grace, even though we do not deserve it. You cannot earn “grace”. But you can choose whether or not to receive it. It is freely offered, but sometimes that is hard to accept. What’s the catch? Surely God wants something in return. You can’t get something for nothing. God sighs, “My child, through Me you can.” … but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us (Romans 5:8).

I have tried more and more over the past several years to accept the grace He so freely offers, knowing I can never be worthy and being okay with that. I thought, am I not making progress here, Lord?

I heard that unmistakable though-voice whisper… I want you to go deeper, Julie. So I have been meditating on that.

Then the ah-ah–more like an oh-oh–moment hit me.


Through faith, I can receive God’s grace, but do I pass it on? How often do I extend grace to others instead of grumbling beneath my breath when they are rude or not courteous? How often do I pray for the person who lashes out at me unfairly instead of getting hurt or huffy? How forgiving am I? Do I take that part of the Lord’s prayer to heart — forgive us our trespasses AS we forgive those who trespass against us?

courtesy of https://www.pinterest.com/pin/giving-grace-to-others-can-be-difficult-at-times-and-often-we-dont-extend-that-same-grace-to-ourselves-work-to-give-yourself--65443000810927533/

How can I give something I refuse to receive myself? Before I can extend grace, I must not only receive it so I can pass it on, I need to put it into practice on myself.

My late husband was always critical of me, and now that he is gone, I find I have taken up the role myself. I have a tendency to be way too hard on myself. I push myself to the limit, get angry and even badmouth myself if I do something like drop a glass, or stumble over a corner of a rug. Or catch my sleeve on the door latch, or… well, you get the idea. I need to extend grace to me. Only then will my heart be open to extending it more to others.

If God can give me grace through His sacrifice on the cross, and if I am to be more Christ-like in order to draw others to His mercy, then I must let that grace gush out of me to myself and then to others. Because only through grace, can mercy and love freely and honestly flow. Lord, let me be a sieve that drips grace onto my own arms as I pour it over others’ heads.

When I choose grace, I can see others, and myself, through God’s eyes. The cataracts of criticism will fall away. The ways of God will be more clearly seen. My heart will be softened and my soul receptive.

Lord, give me the grace, through You alone, to extend that grace to myself and then to others, knowing none of us are deserving of it, but can give it if we humble ourselves to Your will and toss away our human prejudices, jealousies, and tendencies to judge. Amen.


In September, after a long nine-month trek through doctors’ offices and imaging facilities, I finally found a surgeon that would “try to fix” the broken hardware in my pelvis so I could walk again without dragging my right foot with excruciating nerve pain. Trouble was, the first opening in his schedule was Nov 30th. More waiting…

Two weeks later, the ball of my right foot went numb. Okay, probably the nerve, right? But it persisted and a lump developed. I saw a podiatrist and he immediately booked me for surgery. He told me I would not be able to put any weight on that foot for two weeks. I have to admit I lost it when I got home. All my faith and strength swirled through my head and out my eyes in tears. Why??? Haven’t I been through enough during this trial?

No booming voice from heaven. No suddenly meaningful Scripture verse or lyric in a Christian song on the radio. But I felt a renewed nearness to God as if He rubbed my shoulder and whispered, I am here.

Now I know why. For eleven years I have blogged about where I found God today. I found God working out my situation in a rare vascular, and praise Him, benign tumor that threatened to cut off circulation to my toes. Let me explain…

When it came time to have the big surgery on Nov 30th, I was prepared. I knew how to offload my weight, get around with a walker, And navigate through my apartment. And, when the surgeon said all went well and I could put partial weight on my right foot, I had an amazing template … the healing scar on the ball of that foot. Still being tender, I immediately knew if I put too much weight on it.

Had it been my left foot, it would that have made my life difficult because I have had to bear most of my weight on it.

I have heard it said that hindsight is 20/20. In my case, it is. Now, I can humbly thank my Lord and ask forgiveness for not trusting Him more with my life’s circumstances.

Christmas is the time for gift-giving. God gave me an amazing gift even though it was wrapped in something different than I would have imagined … an unexpected surgery. A serendipity.

My gift to you is the moral of my testimony, as written long ago in Proverbs:

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6


May it be your testimony as well in the year to come. Whatever life presents, you have the presence of God if you believe. He is there, and He cares. That is why He came to earth to be born in a stable.

Emanuel, God with Us.


When you are stressed, do you hear anyone tell you to, “Just relax”? Of course.

Photo by Nathan Cowley on Pexels.com

In English class, you probably learned that the prefix “re” means to repeat. If not, you are relearning that concept now. However, like most rules in English, it sometimes doesn’t apply. Repeat, rescind, remember…these common words all start with “re” but when do we ever peat, or scind, or member? I always thought that “relax” was one of those exceptions.

But lax, according to the online dictionary is “from the late Middle English (in the sense ‘loose’).” It is when muscles slack and thus are not tense or strained. It also means to slack off, as in to lax the rules.

So when we relax, we go back to a state of “lax”, right? Which kinda implies that is supposed to be our normal state. The way we were designed to be most of the time. In fact, when David wrote in Psalm 46:10 that God tells us to “be still and know that I am God” he is saying to relax. God’s got this. He will be exalted. We don’t need to tense our muscles and get ready to fight or flight. We are to slack off. Let go of the wheel. Let Him drive.

In our modern world of constant communication and availability, how often do we learn that stress is not the norm? In fact, people are admired for how they use stress to motivate them. How they can multi-task effectively and not need much sleep. As if the busier we are the more productive and important we become.

Not always the case, and not for very long, right? Soon fatigue fog sets in and we make mistakes, run out of steam, and have to chug down another energy drink in order to perform to high standards.

Perhaps it is time we realized (does that mean to “alize” again?) that we need to relax. God created us to need rest. To return (yes, turn again) to a state of laxness. In fact, He commanded it.

 “Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy.  Six days you shall labor, and do all your work, but the seventh day is a Sabbath to the Lord your God. On it you shall not do any work, you, or your son, or your daughter, your male servant, or your female servant, or your livestock, or the sojourner who is within your gates. For in six days the Lord made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that is in them, and rested on the seventh day. Therefore the Lord blessed the Sabbath day and made it holy.” (Exodus 20:8-10).

To make it holy is to set it aside from the ordinary. To sanctify it and give it priority. We all need to relax on a regular basis. When was the last time you took a day off…not just from your job but from all the other things you “had” to do? When did you carve out time to be still and know God? To worship with others, like your family and /or friends.

To turn off the phone, the computer, and the TV? Take a nap? Spend time with family? Take a quiet walk in nature.

Time to get lax again… it is long overdue.

If you have been following some of my blogs you have figured out that I am a word freak. I love words…word games, word search, the origin of words, and words backward and forward.

Two words seem to often be interchangeable … haven and heaven. But they truly are not. A haven is a refuge. It is a safe place away from danger. Many seek a haven from stress, life’s demands, or a reprieve from their jobs. The thing is, a haven is temporary, like a weekend at the spa or in a cabin by the lake in the mountains.

Photo by Quang Nguyen Vinh on Pexels.com

Heaven is something entirely different. It is permanent. Not very many return from there once they gain entrance. One man comes to mind who did, and a good portion of the Bible is a testimony to his life. But He is the exception to the rule. In fact, even Jesus told a story about the permanency of heaven. It is found in Luke’s Gospel.

In Chapter 16, there is the story of a selfish rich man who daily ignored a beggar named Lazarus (not to be confused with the man Jesus raised from the dead). When Lazarus died and went to heaven and sat near Abraham, the father of the faith, the rich man in hell asked him to reach down and touch his tongue with a drop of water. Abraham’s response is, “And besides all this, between us and you a great chasm has been fixed, in order that those who would pass from here to you may not be able, and none may cross from there to us” (vs. 26).

Whether you believe the streets in heaven are paved with gold, we will each have a mansion, sit on fluffy clouds playing harps, or spend our time in awe, bowing at the feet of our Savior and singing “holy, holy, holy” with the angels is not the point. The idea is permanency.

You see, it is all in the word. The power of one letter that totally changes the time span. (See why I love words?)

The difference between a haven and heaven is one letter… an e. And that “e” stands for eternity. All of us will die and leave this world. All of us will spend eternity somewhere else than here. The point of this story in Luke 16 is that we have a choice of where we will spend it. But choose wisely because your choice is permanent.

But the news gets better. If you seek a haven, then you can call out to heaven right now. Jesus also said, “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28). We don’t need to dream of heaven. If we believe that Jesus is Lord and confess our sins, we have already received the passage to eternity. We can feel secure right here, today.

Jesus warned that the Christian path in this life is not an easy one, but also promised that if we lean on Him, He will bring a reprieve that doesn’t just last for a little while. It can last forever. “Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

A week’s retreat to a cabin in the mountains or to a beach lapped by waves across a turquoise sea may seem idyllic, but there is something much, much better within everyone’s reach. The question is, will you reach out to Him and receive a touch of heaven today?

Give Me This Day?

I have a habit of saying The Lord’s Prayer each morning to start off my prayer time. Memorized as a child, I have said it tens of thousands of times over my life. But, living alone and couped up in my apartment for over a year now due to health concerns, I began to wonder why I kept reciting it in the plural. Our Father…give us this day…lead us not into temptation…

I realize that at the time Jesus told his followers to pray in this manner the concept of being an individual was a foreign one. The community was interconnected. Worship was always corporate. Shame was a huge deterent to temptation, because what you did effected others.

Today, people tend to think in the singluar in our Western world. Some call this the “me” generation. My needs, my wants, my life, my decision, my body. My, oh, my.

So I started to recite the prayer in the singular. My Father….forgive me…lead me….

It felt as odd and uncomfortable as putting my right shoe on my left foot. And I realized why. God did not design us to be solitary beings. We were created to belong. Believers form the Body of Christ, and though I live alone, I am never alone. What I do does effect others whether I realize it or not. My prayers effect others. Saying the Lord’s Prayer is an intercessory gesture. I am praying not only for myself but for other believers as well–that they realize God is their Father in Heaven, that they be given their daily needs, have a forgiving heart, and not be led into temptation but be delivered from the snares of the evil one. I am prayignng for people I may never meet, but God has, and He knows their needs.

Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working. James 5:16

Christ, who is always present even when we don’t “feel” Him nearby, unites us. I have felt the Spirit prompt me to pray for others, haven’t you? I am confident He prompts others to pray for me when my spirit and attitude deflate and I become more vulnerable to the whispered lies of the devil.

No matter who you are, where you are, know this: you are never alone. John Donne was right. No man is an island, despite what Simon and Garfunkel sang. God is with you, and He cares. He cares enough to connect you with other believers whether you realize it or not. He is, truly, OUR Father in Heaven. May His kingdom come and His will be done, here on earth as it is in heaven. Amen.

Photo by Steven Putong on Pexels.com

Can You Hear Me?

Be not silent, O God of my praise! Psalm 109:1

I could not hear it. Since I am housebound and cannot walk witout pain, every Sunday for the past ten months I have tuned into the live stream of my church’s worship service. I bring up the social media link on my phone and then cast it to my TV. Today I had the picture but no sound.

First world problem…modern technology is great…when it works.

Was it my phone? I fiddled with the settings. Nope. I disconnected the stream and tried the connection through my desktop computer. Um, that didn’t work either. My heart sank. My weekly link with the Body of Christ in my little church was broken. I couldn’t hear the hymns, the prayers, or the Bible readings. It was an eerie feeling to see lips move but not be able to understand. I have a renewed empathy for the hard of hearing.

I must admit there are times I feel that way with God. I know He is present, He always is… But I cannot hear Him speaking into my life. Though I call out, my situation remains the same. It is as if my prayers hit the ceiling and then disintegrate into a puff of dust. Have you experienced that?

David in the Bible did. Read Psalm 109. He most likely crouched in a cave, hiding from Saul’s soldiers who sought to kill him so he wouldn’t take the throne. God had anointed him, yet the time for him to reign had yet to happen. Instead of fanfare and celebration of the royal robe wrapping in his shoulders, he now only heard the drips of stalactites and shivered in the coldness of the dark stone. Though he had to remain silent, he begged God not to be so.

I get that.

The Psalm continues with him asking God to smite his enemies. I get that as well. I want action. I want God to swoop down like a superman daddy and fix everything. I want the constant pain to end and be able-bodied again. Wouldn’t I serve you better that way, LORD?

But then, at the end of the psalm, David turns his attitude around.

With my mouth I will give great thanks to the Lord;
     I will praise him in the midst of the throng.

For he stands at the right hand of the needy one,
     to save him from those who condemn his soul to death.

Jesus, in the silent night of Gethsemane, knelt in the silent night as his disciples slept, ignorant of his angst. He wanted his Father to take away the fate that awaited him—dying on the cross so His death would defeat sin and again bridge the gap between humans and their Creator. (see Luke 22:41-43).

But like his ancestor David, Jesus relinquishes his will to God’s. And so must I. It is the best thing to do.

Okay, I realize I am not facing enemies trying to slaughter me or have the eternal fate of humanity resting on my actions. But my health has isolated me. At times the silence is loud. I am tired of reaching out to friends and family who rarely reach back out to me. After all these months, they are living their lives but because I cannot be a part of it, I am not on their radar screen.

Yet in my heart, I know that God never disconnects from me. I might not hear His footsteps across my path but I have the examples of David and Jesus to rely upon. And Paul, and thousands of others who have suffered and yet not lost hope.

I will not be silent in my faith. I will praise the LORD in the midst of my “cave” and the dark silence of the garden even though my friends and family go on with their lives and do not notice my suffering. I know He is listening even though I cannot hear Him. I know in my heart I do not travel this road in solitude, even though it often feels that way.

God is there, and He cares.

So, I bow to His mercy… again and again. And I pray for others who feel alone in silence. Be it in a nursing home, or locked in their bedroom, or seated in a crowded school cafeteria, or cubicled in a noisy workplace. May they feel the hand of God rest on their shoulder. For He is there, standing at the right hand of those who need Him, seeing them, seeking to comfort them through their pain. Even if they cannot hear Him at the moment.

Ya gotta believe!

I have written briefly to you, exhorting and declaring that this is the true grace of God. Stand firm in it. I Peter 5:12

I sucked in my breath. The surgeon was to stick a long needle into my SI joint nerve and I was not to be twilighted during the procedure. “We need you to react to the needle to see which nerves are irritating your body.”

Right. I know. I had been through this before…twice! Each time the pain escalated to excruciating. Lord, I did not want to go through that again…ever.

All through the previous night I kept laying it at the cross, but the past replayed in my mind like a scene from the Ground Hog Day movie–over and over. “Deep breaths. It will be over in an hour. You can do this. God is with you.”

The next morning, a hospital tech wheeled me–complete with open-in-the-back, no-size-fits-anyone gown, hair net, and bright yellow no-slip socks dangling from my toes — feet first into the operating room. Six or seven masked faces greeted me.

Machine beeps, warm blankets, drapes, then an icy scrub on my rearend. The odor of rubbing alcohol.

Here we go. I tried to loosen my tight muscles.

“You will feel a prick as I inject the anesthetic.”


“That will be the worst of it.”

I hope. Lord, make it so.


I began to sob as the needle pushed in further and the contrast rushed through the nerve. The machine beeps increased rapidly.

“192 over 97, Doctor.”

Hands held my shoulders down. The nurse’s calm voice told me to breathe deep, one, two, three… Another hand held mine and squeezed. “It’s okay. You are doing fine.”

NO, I am not!!

The doctor said to hold still. That he was injecting more local anesthetic. The pain began to wane, the beeping slowed. I sighed.

“Wow, you really have been in pain, haven’t you? I never have seen such a reaction.”


“And you don’t take any medicine?”

“I can’t. I am allergic to steroids, Lyrica, and most pain meds. Tylenol is my go-to if absolutely intolerable.”

“And you have been this way for how long?”

Had I not gone over all this? Had I not told my story to five other doctors so far? had he not read my chart? I sucked in another lung full of air. “Eleven months. This time. Before that two and a half years until I finally had the fusion surgery that has now failed and left broken hardware in my pelvis bone.”

Several masked faces in the room let out a gasp. The hand holding mine squeezed it again and another patted my arm.

The surgeon bent down and laid his hand on my shoulder. “I think we have enough info to go on now. I am so sorry you had to go through this. Let’s get you out of here and more comfortable. Ice pack, please nurse.”

I turned to see caring eyes and a crinkled brow above the surgical mask. He gets it! Finally. A doctor understands.

Sure, he was only the doctor assigned to do the diagnostic, not my treating physician, but perhaps now this surgeon would relay this event to that doctor and at long last, after months of being shuffled from one doc to the next and undergoing injections and imaging, he might develop a plan to treat me.

For the first time in almost a year, I felt listened to, validated. A doctor finally talked to me not about me as he stared at X-rays, MRIs, CT scans, and digital records. The first doctor in months who had actually physically touched me. (COVID has really changed medicine I guess.)

As they wheeled me back to post-op, I felt those Holy Spirit bumps tingle my arms. The reality whacked me in the forehead.

Had I been twighlighted as I wanted, this doctor would never have known my true condition. God had acted. God had been there and shown once again He cared. The Creator of the Universe arrived into time, my time, to interact. And all I had done was try to stave back panic. I felt humbled and convicted. Why do I not trust more? Where is the peace that passes all understanding? I am so sorry, LORD. I let fear trump faith … again.

Oftentimes, God acts in ways we do not expect. Answers may have to come out of pain and discomfort, or through unfavorable circumstances. A friend recently posted on Facebook …

Yeah, I get that… boy, do I ever. Maybe that day doesn’t classify as a miracle, but then perhaps it does. All I know is the DIvine interceded into the mundane. Eternity penetrated the temporal. Love came down and proved once again, “God’s got this.”

When circumstances seem too hard, look up – seek God. He is there, He cares, and He has a reason and a plan. He’s got this.

Easy to say. May I now find it easier to act on that promise and not react in my own weakness from here on in.

MAY YOU, who just read my witness, DO SO AS WELL.

Cast all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. 1Peter 5:17

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