After battling nerve pain and enduring two surgeries over five years, I finally felt alive again. I could walk on my own, though not more than a half mile or so. I could drive. I could even haul my groceries up the stairs to my apartment.
Then, after eight months, the familiar burning twinge down my right leg returned. I was daily commuting twenty minutes to work and climbing a steep flight of stairs to my office. I ignored it. Part of me said I was simply out of shape after being housebound for so long. Part of me didn’t want to face the reality that the discs in my lower back that were now bone-on-bone were rubbing me the wrong way… literally. My bucket list trip to England and Ireland with my son lay just a few weeks away. So we went, and I walked, and the pain kept getting worse. On the final full day of our trip, I tried to get out of bed and couldn’t put weight on my right leg. So I stayed in bed and watched the tree outside my window blowing as a storm moved in.
As I watched the tree, I noticed the leaves all reacted differently to the wind. When the tree limbs swayed they fluttered in different directions- some into the wind, others away from it. Yet they all remained anchored to the bark. It reminded me of a plaque I inherited from my mother: We cannot change the wind but we can adjust our sails.
I had a choice. Pout or choose joy. So I made the best of it and watched British TV mysteries and home improvement shows while chomping on a cheese roll, biscuits (shortbread cookies), elderflower water, and hot tea–thanks to my son’s trek to the cafe next door. Then he ventured out to discover London on his own and ended up seeing a lot of what he wanted to see before the rains came. After that, he took refuge in a pub under the Tower Bridge and met some nice folks who were also seeking shelter. After the storm passed, he brought back some pub food takeout. And me? I experienced London in my own way and, despite the pain, had a good time.
Back home, the pain still lingered and the trigger point injections only exacerbated the nerve. The spinal surgery team I had before was booked out for a consultation until five weeks later. Once again I am homebound, limping, and in pain. And once again God reminded me that I had a choice of how I handled it.
You see, I design the bulletins for my church and the lesson for the next Sunday was Philippians 4:4-9.
4 Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I say, rejoice! 5 Let everyone see your gentleness. The Lord is near! 6 Do not be anxious about anything. Instead, in every situation, through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, tell your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is worthy of respect, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if something is excellent or praiseworthy, think about these things. 9 And what you learned and received and heard and saw in me, do these things. And the God of peace will be with you. (New English Translation)
The Holy Spirit whispered into my soul: Always be thankful and rejoice. No matter what happens in your life you can be certain of this: Your LORD is by your side, He will provide, and be your guide.
The truth is, if you call on Him in prayer with a thankful heart, He will be the same for you. No matter what way the wind blows, little leaf, cling to the branch!
Think, my friend, about these things. And the peace of God will indeed be with you as well.
Thank you for this Julie! Much needed today! Blessings:)
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