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Posts Tagged ‘Julie B Cosgrove’

In the Unseen

Posted in Biblical, Christian, Devotional, Life Experiences, tagged , , , , on September 27, 2012| 1 Comment »

I was in a scene from an old black and white movie, or so it seemed. The kind where you are walking in a thick mist by the sea docks. All you can hear is the sound of your own footsteps on the planks and the methodical wail of the fog horn somewhere in the distance. The grayish, moist fingers stretch to envelop everything around you. Do you move on through the thick soup carefully placing one foot in front of the other as you tap to make sure the path is solid? Do you stand still and hope this opaque veil will lift, or wait for God to grab your hand and lead you through it? Lord, give me a signal, a flash of a torch up ahead to let me know if I am going in the right direction.

I choose to trust – a purposeful act of believing that He is here watching over me. Yet at the same time somehow, because He is not temporal as I am,  My Lord is also outside the fog handling whatever it is I am not yet privileged to detect with my faith eyes.  Perhaps, I must re-train my eyes to see only Him, and not what I having been choosing to see.

Is that a faint glimmer of the Light of the World through the mist up ahead, beckoning? I ease towards it with renewed hope. I am on the right path after all.

So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen
is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. . . For we walk by faith, not be sight. 2 Corinthians 4:18, 5:7

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In My Smart Phone

Posted in Biblical, Christian, tagged , , , on September 25, 2012| 1 Comment »

I have an app on my smart phone that pops up a Bible verse every morning. It amazes me how often it is “where I find God” because the verse, probably chosen months ago, seems to be His personal whisper that day.

A few days ago, when I was in Kleenex-twisting-between-my-fingers prayer about my finances and if I am really to make my living writing for Him, this popped up –

“I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go. I will  counsel you with my eyes upon you.” Psalm 32:8

I had to grab more Kleenex.

Now, after an amazing directional time at the ACFW conference,  my head is still spinning with answers. Like so many brass rings on a merry-go-round, I am not sure which to reach out and try to grab, and in doing so, should I drop what I have in my hand already? And am I meant to grab it now, or wait for a few more rotations on this ride?

So, of course He spoke to me again –

Better is the end of a thing than the beginning, and the patient spirit is better than the proud in spirit. Ecclesiastes 7:8

Yes, Sir.

 

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In the Basement- Everywhere

Posted in Christian, Life Experiences, tagged , , , on September 23, 2012| Leave a Comment »

For the past three days I have been in the belly of a hotel attending the American Christian Fiction Writers annual conference. I was a newbie–a first timer. If my wide-eyed face didn’t scream it, my brown ribbon did. 680 fiction writers, agents, editors and mentors wandered the halls chatting and laughing, or packed the meeting rooms, or clustered in prayer groups.

We invaded the entire basement level, so our Emcee, Brandilyn Collins, warned us that when we’d go above back into the world of the normals in the lobby and room floors, to not discuss how Mary and Robert can find love if he is imprisoned or what is the best non-detectable poison to use to kill off Bill, or should you maybe let him live.

In this netherworld, there was no jealousies, only love and support. There was no competition, only tears of joy and applause when someone landed a contract or and agent. Our goal, all 680 plus of us was the same — to spread the Love of Christ to readers. It may be by suspense, romance, historical or Amish, by men or women, to kids or young adults, but the focus remained the same.

As for me it was a prayerful, directive nad confirming time. God blessed me fully with affirmations that several people had been following my devos which I have been writing for several years on Christian Women Today or The Christian Woman. Some editors and agents,as well as other authors,  liked the premiss to my new novel, Hush in the Storm.

But more than any of that, I felt overwhelmed with grace. I could sense His arm around my should and the whispers in my ear that I was His child and doing His will.  My faith-trust bar was raised to a renewed level.

Dearest eternal Father,  may I carry in my heart this experience when doubts begin to seep into the walls of my mind and  jabs of angst produce temporary  spiritual amnesia. You stated through David in Psalm 111:4 that You have “caused your works to be remembered.”  May I continue to daily seek Your presence and find you, so I may tell others where to look in their lives. Through Your Son, our Savior, in His name for His Sake, I carry on. Amen.

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Spitting Image?

Posted in Christian, tagged , , , , on September 19, 2012| Leave a Comment »

A friend of mine in Toastmasters brought her husband to last night’s meeting. Her son has been in our club for quite sometime. It was uncanny to hear the similar voice and observe the same mannerisms in the father as I was used to observing in the son. Though they do not look at all alike, if I closed my eyes I could picture her son there instead.  As we talked after the meeting and I looked into her husband’s eyes, I saw her son’s expressions.

Paul tells the Colossians to take off their old, worldly character and “…put on your new nature, and be renewed as you learn to know your Creator and become like him.” (3:10 NLT). Jesus reflected His Father in everything He thought, did and said.  As a believer, I am a child of the same Living God and am to put on the same image. I am to reflect my Father as well.

Though I have never seen my Heavenly Father face to face, I doubt if we look alike on the outside. But, as I grow in Him, may I look more and more like Him in the mannerisms I emulate, in the words that come forth from my mouth, and in my thoughts. Like Amy Grant sang, I want, when people look at me, to say she has her Father’s eyes.

Today, the uncanny resemblance of a father to his son reminded me of how much like my Heavenly Father and His Son I should strive to be. I want people to look into my eyes and see Him, and unmistakably know I am His.

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Where I Didn’t Find Him

Posted in Christian, Life Experiences, tagged , , , on September 18, 2012| 1 Comment »

I met a friend for lunch to discuss churchwomen business. She is the current president and I am to follow on her heels next year. For the first time in a long time, it was actually a cool day in north Texas. Therefore, we sat on the front patio of the restaurant. It is a popular lunch spot, so if you love to people watch, this is the perfect place.

I imagine close to a hundred people passed by in the time we were there. Students from the university down the road wandered in, as did the medical staff from the hospitals and clinics up the road. So did business people in their suits, ties or heels. Sprinkled in between were retired couples, tourists, moms on a rare lunch out, and workers with their names on their uniform shirts or badges.

What surprised me the most was the countenance on most of their faces. On a cool day after a good rain that was so needed at the end of a summer of 100 plus temperatures, you’d think people would be uplifted, walk with a spring in their step, feel rejuvenated. But most wore a scowl or straight face.  Many seemed bent over with the weight of the world on their backs. A few, who had arranged to meet, smiled at each other, and then fell into mutual silence. Couples walked together in a marital patterned, robot-like pace.  The only ones who broke the drudgery lunch time routine with laughter were three women taking indulgent deserts in boxes back to work

I thought of how our Father in Heaven must see us – all His children running around like irritated ants. How it must break His heart to have so many pass up His freely given love and choose the world view instead.  It made me realize how far from God our daily lives have drifted , even here in America where we are supposed to be one nation under Him.

Heavenly Lord, use this wonderful thing called cyberspace to draw your children back to You. Let them realize they are not alone and to seek You each day. Help them to see You are right there, waiting.  You came down in the form of Jesus, Your Son, to draw us to You.  Through His sacrifice, we can have direct access to You with each and every breath we take.  Help us to be more and more in touch with your Holy Spirit in us and to see evidence of Your presence in our daily walk. We pray this through Christ and in His name. Amen.

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The Bird Can be the Word

Posted in Christian, Devotional, Life Experiences, tagged , , , , on September 17, 2012| Leave a Comment »

God speaks to us in so many ways – often through nature. A friend of mine who is an avid and highly knowledgeable birder, as well as a deep Christian woman, has a blog – GodGirlGail. Today she discussed the a Frigatebird who bullies other birds to get their food instead of working for its own. Sort of like the kid who steals the lunch money. You can read about it here:  http://godgirlgail.wordpress.com/2012/09/17/744/.

Today, God showed me a lesson through her description of the Frigatebird. Being bullied viciously for years and years as a child for being overweight and smart, I can relate. Whatever self-esteem I had would be snatched away every time I walked into school. They told me I would never be pretty, and that I was a nerd who would never be popular. I married a man who would bully me and did so for thirty plus years. It was the behavior I expected, so I guess I sought it out. Now that I am a widow, I had become my own bully.  No one was around to tell me the negative things I had heard all my life, so I began the mantra in the mirror.

In reading Gail’s description of the Frigatebird,  I imagined myself as one of the birds that Frigate bullied everyday. Easy target. After a while, if I was that little bird, when I’d see the Frigate soaring in my direction, I would have dropped my food to avoid the conflict. Even if I saw no bully coming, I’d drop it – just in case, then tell myself it was not really meant to be mine.

I know Scripture states that through God we are made worthy. David Crowder sings that God makes everything glorious so what does that make me? As a teenager, “God doesn’t make junk” was the bumper sticker saying of the day.  Yet, somehow, I had convinced myself that I had taken the goodness and junked it myself, so it really worth holding onto anyway. In essence, by believing my own negative bullying, I had.

Leave it to a bully bird, whose antics were written about by a friend, to show me Truth.  What God has given me as far as talent is worthy of holding onto.  Bully bird, in the name of Jesus, I say go away.  I am grasping what God has graced me and not letting go anymore.

If you are dealing with negativity in your life, whether the voices are from within or coming from others, don’t give into it. Don’t let bullying snatch away what God has given to you. You are worthy to hang onto His grace and use your talents to His glory.

With this in mind, we constantly pray for you, that our God may count you worthy of his calling, and that by his power he may fulfill every good purpose of yours and every act prompted by your faith. 2 Thessalonians 1:11

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Faces

Posted in Christian, Life Experiences, tagged , , , , , , on September 16, 2012| Leave a Comment »

I spent two days with women who are in my international prayer warriors organization called Daughters of the King. We had a conference in the piny woods of east Texas at a retreat center. I did a workshop on my newest Bible study, Between the Window and the Door, and also had a vendor’s booth for my books, speaking engagements, and for items made by women rescued from human trafficking and slavery who reside in Christian safe houses throughout the world. The jewelry and accessories they make are vended through Women at Risk. (I agree to make no money off the sales of the items the women make and ship to the USA so 90% can go back to those women and the safe houses.)

In those two days, I saw my Lord in so many faces. I saw Him in eyes that stretched into laughter and sparkled with joy. I saw Him in eyes who became reddened as tears glistened in them.  I saw His love in squeals and out-stretched arms of friends who had not seen each other in a while, and in the warm smiles of those meeting for the first time. And, yesterday morning when I took the stage to give my workshop I saw Him on each of the 100 plus faces that filled the room. He was there because each one in that room, as dedicated to prayerfully serving Him as they are, knew what it was like to be in the in-between times called the journey from the valley to the mountain top. They have experienced the gap between doubting if God is really there and feeling Him so close it is as if their heads were resting on His chest and His arms wrapped around their shoulders.

Old, young, Black, White, Hispanic, never married, widowed, divorced or happily married, from the slower-paced small towns and the bustling metropolis, representing large churches and small missions – all came there because He has touched their lives with the desire to pray and serve others. In the brief weekend as we sang, prayed, worshiped, shared and ate together, the bond of faith encircled us and He was in the center.

It was a split-second glimpse of what is to come in Heaven.

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Calmed Waters

Posted in Christian, Life Experiences, tagged , , , , on September 12, 2012| 1 Comment »

I found God today at the end of the day. Actually I had been surrounded by witnesses to His glory and love all day as I manned the phones for a share-athon for a local Christian radio station. Between the other volunteers, the people dropping off snacks, and the listeners who called in, the God talk filled the call center. It was like floating in a sun-drenched river on a hot Texas summer day – a soothing, refreshing time you don’t want to end.

But in the back of my mind a ripple of angst was forming. The pebble had been dropped. I had a conference this weekend and I needed to work on my workshop presentation. My week of have-to-dos was stacking up. I had been manning the share-athon for two days, had a church women’s board meeting the next day as well as two more meetings, a newsletter to get out, and 8 articles to write and post for a client’s blog sites before I left Friday morning.

As I drove to my Toastmasters’ meeting last evening, I tried to plot out enough time over the next two days to rehearse. Maybe as I drove the four hours to the conference center? Well, I could rehearse the talk but it would be kinda hard to practice the power point portion on the highway. I could stay up late or get up early . . .maybe both?

As I walked in the room, the one who was leading the meeting told me there were no speakers that night. Last-minute cancellations had been texted to him – nothing major like an illness or tragedy, just life-stuff which had gotten in the way. So I was the only speaker.  I had brought my power point equipment to do a short demonstration on how to begin your speech, a Toastmaster teaching module. Much to my regret, the newly formed group had already heard that presentation through another Toastmaster several weeks back. Oh. Now what. The ripples grew.

Then, the Holy Spirit whispered in my soul’s ear. This is a church. Practice your workshop talk here.

I asked the group and they all agreed that would be fine. In fact, one lady had read most of my Bible study Between the Window and the Door on which this workshop was based. Three weeks prior, God had told me to give her a copy because she was going through a rough in-between time in her life. Coincidence that she had brought it with her?

Another pebble dropped. Did I have the right flash drive? Then I remembered. The one on which I was to download the Toastmaster module was, for some unknown reason, malfunctioning last night. So I had dug out my workshop flash drive and loaded the module on that. Yes, God had guaranteed that I had the right flash drive.

As I spoke, the words flowed from my brain.The power point presentation went smoothly. All the slides I’d prepared worked perfectly. That sweet woman at the back who had been reading the Bible study sat smiling and nodding. She was a real encouragement to me. The others became engaged in my talk. After it was over, they gave me great feedback.

The waters calmed.  I floated in the knowledge that My Father in Heaven cares enough to orchestrate events weeks in advance which would accumulate into the perfect time for me to prepare my talk on how His grace is ever-present, even in the in-between times.

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Look for the Cross

Posted in Christian, Life Experiences, tagged , , , , on September 11, 2012| Leave a Comment »

On this 10th anniversary of that tragic day in Manhattan, at the Pentagon and in a field in Pennsylvania, there are many new reports recalling those few hours of panic, terror and destruction. In the midst of Ground Zero, the heat of the explosion and the force of the collapse of one of the Twin Towers caused two I beams of steel to weld together in the shape of a  rugged cross.  The commentator said when they unearthed it, it was as if God was saying, “I’m here.”

Looking through mImagey clip art for a picture, I rediscovered one a missionary couple I support had sent me from Japan right after the earthquake and tsunami. Hovering out of the rubble where a church once stood, the congregation had constructed a makeshift cross so they could hold services.

When we lived in Baton Rouge, a mega church had erected three crosses at the entrance to their church site on the Interstate 10. After Katrina, those crosses became a beacon. One of the major food banks and distribution centers were in a warehouse next to them.

I have worn a cross since I was 16. It was bought with my first pay check. At times I feel it next to my skin and it reminds me He is there next to me, touching my life.  I rarely feel it when I am joyful or confident or upbeat. But when my day is in rubbles, then I do feel it next to me – warm and comforting. It is a reminder of whom it is I belong. Instead of a dog tag, it is my God tag.

God reveals Himself in the midst of tragedy. His cross provides a ray of hope in despair, of control in chaos, and the security of Daddy watching over us in the middle of fear. The next time life throws you in the midst of chaos and your world is tumbling around you – look for the cross.

And lo, I am  iwth you, even unto the end of the age.  Matthew 28:20

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Comfort and Joy

Posted in Biblical, Christian, Devotional, Life Experiences, tagged , , , , on September 9, 2012| Leave a Comment »

Yesterday another lady and I, who are on the women’s ministry board for our denomination, drove about two hours south to support a small church in our jurisdiction. They were having a fall bazaar. It was a good chance to meet some of the ladies and personally invite them to the function we were having for all the women in a month’s time.

One lady, who was somewhat elderly, had a booth of beautifully handmade beaded jewelry. She explained how learning to do beadwork had kept her busy since her mother passed away last year. She’d been her mother’s caregiver for over 6 years. I saw the deep pain in her eyes, but I also saw God’s comfort.  I could tell He had been there with her, through her church, her friends and in this new endeavor. Her faith was a balm for her sorrow. Hovering between us as we talked was the Holy Spirit wrapping her in a love that will never leave her.  It made me realize anew how He’s there for me, and you, and all of us who believe, giving purpose to our times of sorrow and  emptiness.

I will turn their mourning into gladness; I will give them comfort and joy instead of sorrow. Jeremiah 31:13b

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