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Posts Tagged ‘finding God’

For the past three days I have been in the belly of a hotel attending the American Christian Fiction Writers annual conference. I was a newbie–a first timer. If my wide-eyed face didn’t scream it, my brown ribbon did. 680 fiction writers, agents, editors and mentors wandered the halls chatting and laughing, or packed the meeting rooms, or clustered in prayer groups.

We invaded the entire basement level, so our Emcee, Brandilyn Collins, warned us that when we’d go above back into the world of the normals in the lobby and room floors, to not discuss how Mary and Robert can find love if he is imprisoned or what is the best non-detectable poison to use to kill off Bill, or should you maybe let him live.

In this netherworld, there was no jealousies, only love and support. There was no competition, only tears of joy and applause when someone landed a contract or and agent. Our goal, all 680 plus of us was the same — to spread the Love of Christ to readers. It may be by suspense, romance, historical or Amish, by men or women, to kids or young adults, but the focus remained the same.

As for me it was a prayerful, directive nad confirming time. God blessed me fully with affirmations that several people had been following my devos which I have been writing for several years on Christian Women Today or The Christian Woman. Some editors and agents,as well as other authors,  liked the premiss to my new novel, Hush in the Storm.

But more than any of that, I felt overwhelmed with grace. I could sense His arm around my should and the whispers in my ear that I was His child and doing His will.  My faith-trust bar was raised to a renewed level.

Dearest eternal Father,  may I carry in my heart this experience when doubts begin to seep into the walls of my mind and  jabs of angst produce temporary  spiritual amnesia. You stated through David in Psalm 111:4 that You have “caused your works to be remembered.”  May I continue to daily seek Your presence and find you, so I may tell others where to look in their lives. Through Your Son, our Savior, in His name for His Sake, I carry on. Amen.

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I’ll admit there are days I just do not feel His presence. Usually those are the days I am stressed over something- probably the one thing I keep laying at His feet then snatch back. Most of the time it has to do with finances. Freelance writing and being your own boss is wonderful. Yet, most of the time I feel like Indiana Jones in the the scene where he is searching for the Holy Grail and steps out in faith over an abyss. God does provide the ledge I cannot see with my eyes, but at times I still look down and my knees become wobbly. That is the time I should get down upon them before trying to take another step. I don’t always do that.

Years ago I was given a book that was similar to the old Where’s Waldo series, except you had to look for Jesus in each scene. Sometimes He was easier to spot. Sometimes, not so much. I’d call over a friend or family member and say, can you help me find Jesus? Ah! Slap in the forehead time. Friends and family can help us find Jesus when our eyes are just too filled with tears or clouded by our own circumstances.

Then there are times, He reveals Himself in a way that makes you suck in your breath – like the Bible verse of the day which popped up on my cell phone app today after I was was stressing over if I needed to find a job to supplement my freelance writing and why no one was responding to my resumes –

I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go. I will counsel you with my eyes upon you. Psalm 32:8

Yes, Sir. On I go over the abyss.

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