I have a phobia about the MRI donut – cylinder coffin, white hole- call it what you will. Bedsides the fact that I had an adverse reaction to the dye a few years back and they had to pull me out, shoot me up with Benadryl and apply oxygen, I feel confined and not in control. Those of you who know me know “control” is my thorn in my flesh. It is the major issue on which God constantly works with me . “I’m here, Julie. Let go, Let Me.”
I pondered if I was relying too much on my own flesh and not my faith as I popped the mild sedative pill the neurologist had prescribed before my son drove me to the appointment. I asked God for forgiveness and swallowed it back. Within ten minutes the world fuzzed. Now I really felt out of control!
The tech was nice enough to place a washcloth over my eyes as they strapped my head and neck down to keep them from moving. Oh, this is going to be really fun. Then they slid me in head first. My heart pounded in my ears. Don’t squeeze the panic button. You are a big girl. It’s only 20 minutes. You can do this. If you have never heard one, then watch this —-
Ear plugs DO NOT help.
Then it came into my head – Casting Crown’s song Praise You in the Storm. Per copyright laws you are not supposed to write out the lyrics, but they sing of God being God no matter where we are and how He has held every tear we cry in His hands. So I began to sing praise songs through the buzz. Each time the knock, knock, knock sounded I praised Jesus that He was knocking on my heart. He whispered you are doing this because I am here. My breathing calmed and the ten ton weight on my chest left.
I survived. Obviously, because I am writing this, though with residual grogginess even after a four-hour dead-to-the-world nap! I hope this “mild” sedative wears off soon!
When we are in a scary situation we have two choices. Praise God because He is there in all circumstances, or panic. We can focus on Him, of focus on our situation. Today I found God as close as my breath inside and MRI- and a precious reminder – that is where He is every moment, every day.
He and I are still talking about whether or not I really needed that sedative. Doesn’t matter. He was with me anyway. His mercies are new very morning.
Where Did You Find God Today? 